This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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