What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
