Cold hands, warm shart.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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