..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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