I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
