Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
