that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
