Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
