i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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