Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
