WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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