in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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