I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
