I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
