Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
