Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
