did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
