my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
