I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
