I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
this will be a night to untag.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
