My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
