another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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