No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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