Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think my moral compass just broke
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
