I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
