He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
