absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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