There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
