omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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