everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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