I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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