Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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