I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
