oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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