I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
