just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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