is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
