all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
