i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
