whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
