I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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