he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
