This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
