Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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