btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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