He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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