i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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