I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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