Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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