Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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