Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
