Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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