So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
