I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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