he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
