so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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