Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
