i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
