i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
